Sometimes the world seems so big and full of hurt it makes me feel so small and powerless. I am astonished at the things that are front-page news these days--between the uprisings throughout the mid-east, the atrocious civil war in Libya, and the utter tragedy that keeps going from bad to worse in Japan, I wish I had something more to give! (I actually looked at what it would take for me to be trained as an EMT--and I am NOT cut out for medicine!)
It's no secret I've been barely holding on spiritually these last months. But all I can do in the face of such great tragedy is just keep holding on. And hoping for God to save. And not to remove his hand of blessing from upon me and my family. Because even in the midst of such sadness, I feel so rich and so blessed.
So I think. What can I do? From where my life is these days, what can I do?
And the high calling I'm answering right now is to love my husband and my daughter, and to WORK for their good. To give to them the same passion by which I'm moved for those in Japan. And to just do what I can from where I am. I read an article that mentioned very briefly in one line that a hospital in Japan fears running out of milk and food for the babies--and that one line stopped me cold. So what my family can do, must do, is what we can. And for today that means buying up formula and rice cereal and doing whatever I have to do to get it to that hospital. (Hopefully through my local Red Cross!)
What that also means is to be so grateful and thankful for each day of peace and plenty I get. Not to feel guilty that I have it so good when there are unimaginable sorrows out there. And not to be afraid that it'll inevitibly happen to us. But to appreciate the good that I'm living in.
So. Things that make me so grateful these days:
When Adria is crying and I'm so frustrated, and I go in to pick her up and she immediately stops and just snuggles into my shoulder with one shaky breath, as if she's thinking "RELIEF!"
How soft Adria is! Really, how are babies so soft?
The way that loving Adria has made me love all babies (and most mamas) more and more.
And the news that a good friend is expecting!
The way my hubby still makes my heart flutter. And makes me laugh. And the way we still love talking to each other.
And beautiful blue skies over warm spring days, with growing things starting to poke out of the ground. Fresh, clean air. I may have to get in the garden this weekend. And I can't wait to share that with Adria.
Having enough to share. Even if postage to Japan makes my heart stop temporarily. :)