...I am not.
It's the most fun to remember all of the incredible and amazing things about this new adventure with my little darling, but to tell the truth, it's really been a challenge, too!
Like the night she nursed for an HOUR and still wasn't satisfied, and I finally just put her down and endured her screaming... for whatever reason she just was wound up and wouldn't settle. Oh yeah, and her dad was out working that night, but not late, so after she finally fell into an exhausted sleep, I waited up a bit for him (and by waiting up I mean stayed up until 10:00!). And once he got home and we got to share a little quality time, something just came over me--this NEED to cry. And so I did! (He is really great when I cry!) And all I could say about it was "I'm tired!" No other reason for the emotional outburst... just TIRED and needed to cry about it!
Or the trip I took her on to go and check out some daycare centers. I'm not completely convinced, but I think she hates her car seat. And I can't make any sense out of it--it's the same angles as her bouncer, which she loves, etc. Maybe she just doesn't like being strapped in? Anyway, her head was always bouncing around in her car seat, so we got this "insert" which is a bit more snuggly and keeps her head from flopping around. Well, I get her in the car seat, Jason gets her into the car and settled (which I couldn't do on my own), and off we go. As soon as I pull into the parking lot of Daycare #1, she starts screaming! Well, I pull out and start looking for Daycare #2, thinking the driving would calm her down and then I could go in there, but she just continued screaming and wouldn't calm down! Very difficult when you're driving, and there's really nothing you can do to tend to her. And when you get a little lost, and disconcerted when you find you've crossed the line into the next county! And even more so when you finally decide to pull over and find there's nowhere to stop! Sigh. I finally did get stopped and sat in the back seat with her and pulled her out of her little chair--and she was drenched in sweat. She'd been BURNING UP back there the whole time in her snuggly little seat! Bad mama. I apologized profusely to her and ripped out the inner of the inserts and got her cooled off before I started moving again. Here's one cool thing about babies and their mamas. Even if it's YOU that's subjected them to something torturous, like incessantly driving around several counties lost in an inferno, they still love you and allow you to comfort them when you finally realize what's going on and pick them up. Even for a hot little baby, she's still so snuggly, and I think she forgave me!
(P.S.--this pic was taken previously... NOT while trying to gain control of the aforementioned situation!)
And it's taken me WEEKS to figure a few things out, like nursing! Remember that hour long nursing session I mentioned? Well apparently you don't HAVE to keep nursing them until they pull back or end up spitting up all over you! (Although the spit up is now a legitimate problem of its own.) She's on a pretty predictable 2.5 hour schedule for eating during the daytime, but if I let her go as long as she'd like, it'd practically be time for her to eat again by the time we got finished! I think she's getting what she NEEDS now, but not in excess. She finally got a look at what the downstairs of our house looks like now! So. Glad for the both of us I figured that one out!
And poor little darling, I think I've had her so worn out from not figuring out what "putting her down for a nap" actually meant. That means that you, as the mama, actually put her down for nap time, so she can sleep! (I'd been letting her fall asleep when she wanted after a fussy time in her bouncer, and bouncing her within an inch of her life until she got through the fuss and fell asleep on her own. Worked fine, except for having to bounce her in order for her to fall asleep or stay asleep, and except for her waking up 20-30 minutes later.) I finally calculated it and even if she slept at every "feeding cycle", which she didn't always do, she was probably getting a total of 2.5 hours of sleep during the daytime--not nearly enough for an infant! Poor little thing! No wonder she'd be fussy and grouchy at times. She needed me to be the MOM and put her down for a nap! (Incidentally, I'm still working that one out and she's still not completely keen on the idea either, but I think it's going to work out just fine.)
So... while I'm not yet Supermom, it's enough that I'm still working on being mom. And even despite the setbacks and "oops" moments, I've LOVED that title, we're still learning each other better every day. And I don't think I've ruined her yet!