Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Fifth letter to my child

My dearest child,

Father's Day has just passed, and I've been spending some time just thinking about you, but also in particular thinking about your Daddy. I'm told that you can hear things already in the womb, so sometimes I talk to you, and I tell you all the time how lucky we are to have a man like him, and how proud I am for you to have a Daddy like him, but it's more for me than you that I tell you things now, so I also wanted to make sure you'd be able to read about your Daddy during these days and you'd always know and remember what a great man he is, and what a great Daddy he's going to be to you.

Some of the sweetest times of my day come in the evenings after work when I'll sit back and you'll start wiggling around inside my belly, and Jason will come over and put his hands on my belly to feel you, or he'll put his face really close to talk to you. I wish I could capture the light in his face during those times (but a camera would spoil those moments), and the way he always gets excited when he feels you moving around. He doesn't always know what to say, which neither do I really, but being a man, isn't as inclined to silliness as I am, so he'll just tell you hi, and ask you what you're doing, and tell you he loves you and me, and that he can't wait for you to come out so he can meet you and start spending real time with you.

He's a man's man, strong and smart, he knows how to do just about everything, from plumbing to cars to chemistry, he's interested in just about everything too (which is probably why he's so good at so many things), and he's just very attentive and tries to be in tune with the world around him. He has great ideas and passions about right and wrong, and he strives to make the world more right because of his influence. He makes me feel like the only woman in the world, and like there's nothing wrong with me, and I love the way we laugh together, or talk about serious issues (like politics or philosophy or God), or just veg out with each other and don't have to talk at all. One thing we have always tried to focus on is respecting each other, and honoring each other. And I feel so honored by, and loved by, and respected by him. I couldn't imagine anyone else on the planet that would mesh with me (my pretty parts and my messy parts), nor anyone else on the planet I'd want to share my life with, and especially, to have children with.

It's funny because I say it about your dad, but he says it about me too, that we just feel lucky to have the other. How'd we get so lucky? But it truly feels like we share something extraordinary, something not everybody gets to experience, and he helps me to understand what love is supposed to be like, and how it's supposed to act. I hope for you too, my sweet daughter, that you'll find a love like your dad. Something exceptional, something celestial, something so real and sweet and right. Love is hard sometimes, but love needs to be conceived of as an active verb. That's the way your dad and I love each other, and that's the love I'm already hoping and praying for you.

Because I know what love is,

1 comment:

  1. Aww Beth, this is so sweet! You and Jason really are something special and your daughter couldn't have gotten better parents.
    PS have you come up with a name for the little miss yet?